Not a hug’s length away now.

I haven’t written in a long while, not had the time to pursue blogging, picked up new hobbies, fell in love with sewing, and added another bundle of joy to our family.

This past week, I’ve been hit by an overwhelming surge of emotions, maybe a little random and a little lacking in sense but never the less, feelings that needed an outburst. Hence the compulsion to express in the one way I know how to, and to hopefully mark this new chapter in our lives with a blog post that I can come back to read.

So… My son starts kindergarten on Monday. Yes it had to happen one day but I am having difficulty coming to terms with it. The fact that he won’t be around me during the day, both scares and saddens me. He’s been to a daycare before, a couple hours a day but this feels different – his foray into formal education, his journey into the outside world. Maybe he is equipped to handle it, maybe he’s not but it is going to be an adventure. His first independent adventure, one that I won’t be able to witness first hand and that just breaks my heart. As he faltered through his first steps and first words, we cheered him along, overcome by pride and humbled by the blessedness of being parents to him. It doesn’t seem fair then, that I miss out on seeing firsthand his accomplishments or setbacks as a student. The fact that there will be a chunk of time that my precious child will be out of my sight, scares me a little. During this time, he’s on his own, decisions and choices, and their expression, all his own. I look forward to with excitement and a little fear as he sets forth to conquer obstacles – social, academic and mental, and reaches new milestones, while gaining confidence and self-identity in a new environment.¬†While I want for him, a school experience filled with friends, fun and learning, I wish he wasn’t so out of reach those few hours.There is hope that he’ll recount his experiences with me, and reassurance that we chose a good secure school for him but he’s not a hug’s length away now is he?